My Bucket List

Although it's ever-changing, I thought I would post my bucket list up here for others to see. Also, there's nothing overly exciting going on in my life so I'm struggling with post topics. :-)

1. Get my private pilot's license
2. Train to ride cross country (horseback)
3. Visit New Zealand and tour the LOTR locations
4. Move to the western side of the country
5. Get my MPH
6. Take a trip to Italy/Greece
7. Do a trail ride and visit some castles in Ireland
8. Go on a safari in Africa
9. Write a book
10. Complete a half marathon
11. Visit Harry Potter World
12. Kayak in Patagonia
13. Climb Mt. Kilimanjaro
14. Learn to ride a dirt bike/motorcycle
15. Get 6-pack abs (haha)
16. Ski in the Alps

RNIA (Clearly not coming up with stuff to say again)

eating/drinking: water. i need to go get breakfast but just haven't yet.

feeling: decent. still a little sore from a procedure last week but otherwise okay.

listening: to the ac in the office. it's extremely loud.

watching: absolutely nothing. they frown upon tv entertainment in the workplace.

reading: "state of fear" by michael crichton. i've read it once before, remember loving it but not anything else about it, so i'm recycling.

loving: that fall is here. the rain is a damper but the cooler temperatures are awesome.

disliking: that i have a funny rash on my tattoo that won't go away, and no one knows what it is.

thinking: i'm hungry. i need to exercise more. i'm tired of peeing so much.

hoping: my sister's bachelorette party and wedding will go smoothly.

wishing: for world peace. and to win the lottery.  same as always. oh, and that my sister, bil, and nephew lived on this continent.

Just a Reminder That Cleanses Suck

On Tuesday I started a 10 Day Herbal Cleanse by a company called Advocare. A nursing friend, who is also a personal trainer and nutritionist, recommended it to me because of my body's stubborn resistance to losing any kind of weight. In a regular week I do 3 days of weights (~30min) and 4-5 days of cardio (45min walk/run combo). On the weekends when I work 2-12 hour shifts, I get up every hour and do exercises in the office. However, despite also cutting my calories I still haven't lost a single pound...and it's been 3 months. I know how calorie deficits work, and creating one most days a week still hasn't helped anything happen. Her thoughts were that I needed to cut out some entire food groups, at least for a set period of time, to see how my body responds.

So, for the past 3 days (and they have been some incredibly long, rough 3 days) I haven't consumed any sugar (other than fruit), grains (white or wheat), or dairy. In other words, I've been living on fruits, veggies, meat, and eggs. Despite the fact that I love all of those, these last few days have been an eye opener; I eat a lot of crap. I spend all day trying to figure out what I can eat because almost nothing we stock in this house falls under those categories. I also drink 80-100 ounces of water a day (my urologist would be proud) which means I spend approximately 30% of my waking time in the bathroom. Once the 10 days are over I can slowly add those categories back in, but the plan highly cautions against adding anything made with sugar or white flour.

I'm learning that I can survive without those things but it sucks. I love cheese. And bread, I can't stand black coffee. And I'm tired of peeing all of the time.

The Long Awaited Blog Post

Okay, so I admit that I've been unusually slack with the blog lately. Like, 6 months slack. But that's okay because, for now, I'm back. It could be a temporary return, but I've had this blog for 8 years so I don't foresee it ever really going away permanently. There's been a lot happening, but for whatever reason(s) I never had any desire to talk about it on here. This past year was probably the roughest in my short lifespan and as I've gotten older I've felt less inclined to complain for the world to see; I reserve that punishment for my loved ones. However, since I know some people are curious, I'll sum up the past 6 months with my beloved bullets. After this post the plan is to participate in NaBloPoMo for September in hopes of getting my groove back.

• I dropped out of grad school. At first I was pretty embarrassed about it but now it doesn't bother me at all. I wasn't meant to be a nurse practitioner and, despite doing really well in my classes, I spent a good chunk of my time crying out of sheer misery. Which leads to...
• I went through about a year of full blown anxiety and depression. We're talking therapist and shrink visits, many (MANY) psychotropic medications, and lots of $$$ (not to mention a butt load of weight gain from all of those super nifty meds). Not shockingly, once I dropped out of school, it all just stopped. Now I'm med-free and feel perfectly fine again. Damn school was my mental breakdown trigger. It just goes to show that you shouldn't force yourself to do something you hate.
• I had to make the excruciatingly tough decision to let Stetson go back in May. His mobility had gotten worse, and while he was still happy, eating, playing with toys, continent, and taking [slow] walks he had a lot of trouble getting up, would fall down sometimes, and dragged his back feet more and more. I had to carry him (at 70lbs) up and down the steps every night because they were too steep for him. His quality of life wasn't that bad, but after giving me almost fourteen years of unconditional love I felt I owed it to him to let him cross the Rainbow Bridge on a good day rather than wait until he started truly suffering. When he passed (we found a home euthanasia vet) he did so surrounded by people that loved him, in his home, with a belly full of steak and Chick-Fil-A nuggets.
• I've started working out and have stuck with it for 3 months, almost religiously. I've been doing cardio and strength training, and while my muscles are getting bigger I haven't lost a single pound. Alister likes to call me "Beast Mode" and squeeze my biceps, and whenever I complain about still being thick he says "Who cares? You can kick major ass now". I guess it's a decent trade-off.
• I'm studying for my personal trainer certification. It's a slow process but the goal is to be IN-SHAPE by the time I'm certified. Who wants a chunky PT?
• I haven't had any more issues with kidney stones, so yay for that. I'm hoping that my 1 beer and 100 ounces of water a day is preventing future ones, but those hopes aren't very high given my history with them.
• I've slowly been getting better at wake boarding, and this summer I finally started jumping the wake as opposed to just riding in the center. Because of the progression I've also had some impressive face plants. My current state of whiplash is proof.
• I'm still at the same job, ie one where I don't have to touch strangers' butts and I love it. Eventually I'll go back to bedside nursing (or find another career) but for now I'm in limbo as I wait to see if Alister gets into CRNA school or not (which would decide whether we move next summer...or not).
• I've gotten to spend some wonderful quality time with my husband, immediate family, and in-laws at the lake these past few months and it's a good reminder that I'm very blessed to have those people in my life. Especially since I'm antisocial and can't stand making other friends. And I'm too lazy to maintain the friendships I already have. I'm such an asshole.
• I'm looking forward to my sister, Sam, marrying her wonderfully awesome fiance, John on Halloween of this year. My sister is a handful (well, that's one word for it) and anyone who can love her for who she is is a winner to me.

Random Update Time

I've let the blog go, as usual, but I know some people still check this for updates on my life so here goes:

• The pets are all hanging in there. 
• Indy is due for a dental cleaning but it was delayed due to a respiratory infection. His IBD and kidney disease are apparently well under control as he is maintaining his usual weight and his lab work a few weeks ago showed everything was better than they had been. Yay!
• Stetson is actually doing okay. I bought him a pair of skid resistant booties to wear on his back feet and surprisingly, he likes them! He actually prances around with them on and his energy levels have picked up. Between restarting his supplements and the booties, he seems to feel better. I suppose he was feeling his right foot drag which was causing him to slow down.
• Baer is his usual stubborn self. I'm pretty sure he's going to live forever.
• Penny goes for her 2 month ultrasound tomorrow to see if the pancreatitis has gotten any better. She seems to be acting fine but it would be nice to know if we're actually having any improvement or if something else needs to change.
• School is...going. I'm not a fan of this semester as neither class has struck an interest for me. I'm also delayed in starting my clinical rotation and that has added a lot of unnecessary stress.
• Alister is still waiting to hear from CRNA school. He's stressed out about that so needless to say, we're a fairly stressed out couple these days.
• Aside from pets and school, very little is happening. Our hospital has switched to a new charting system that hasn't been user friendly and that is also, wait for it, causing stress! However it's here to stay so we just have to stick it out.

I hope everyone is doing okay and enjoying the last few months of winter!

Things I've Done: Updated

I first posted this on 1/29/09 and bolded the things I had done at that time. Looking at it now, I sure haven't done much more, but I'm putting the newer things in red bold. This list makes me realize how much there is to do and how much time I'm spending in school or planning to do things rather than acting!

1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity (Just ask Equine Rescue League)
7. Been to Disneyland/world
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort (it was more of an ice igloo)
25. Held a lamb (well yeah, I went to NC State)
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset (I prefer sunsets)
31. Hit a home run (yes, on the Wii)
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight 
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud (if you never did this as a child you seriously missed out)
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies...speaking of, I need to buy some of those
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy (see Brownie the Horse)
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten Caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book (still working on that...slowly)
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee

I Give!

I'm throwing in the towel on January NaBloPoMo; I'm happy enough that I made it through December and with everything going on, I feel like trying to do it this month is too much. I will keep posting as often as possible now that I'm in the habit, but with school starting next week I foresee the amount dropping off significantly. I hope that I don't lose any of my steady readers but if I do, I definitely understand. I hope everyone is enjoying their New Year, and in most places, staying warm!