The Long Awaited Blog Post

Okay, so I admit that I've been unusually slack with the blog lately. Like, 6 months slack. But that's okay because, for now, I'm back. It could be a temporary return, but I've had this blog for 8 years so I don't foresee it ever really going away permanently. There's been a lot happening, but for whatever reason(s) I never had any desire to talk about it on here. This past year was probably the roughest in my short lifespan and as I've gotten older I've felt less inclined to complain for the world to see; I reserve that punishment for my loved ones. However, since I know some people are curious, I'll sum up the past 6 months with my beloved bullets. After this post the plan is to participate in NaBloPoMo for September in hopes of getting my groove back.

• I dropped out of grad school. At first I was pretty embarrassed about it but now it doesn't bother me at all. I wasn't meant to be a nurse practitioner and, despite doing really well in my classes, I spent a good chunk of my time crying out of sheer misery. Which leads to...
• I went through about a year of full blown anxiety and depression. We're talking therapist and shrink visits, many (MANY) psychotropic medications, and lots of $$$ (not to mention a butt load of weight gain from all of those super nifty meds). Not shockingly, once I dropped out of school, it all just stopped. Now I'm med-free and feel perfectly fine again. Damn school was my mental breakdown trigger. It just goes to show that you shouldn't force yourself to do something you hate.
• I had to make the excruciatingly tough decision to let Stetson go back in May. His mobility had gotten worse, and while he was still happy, eating, playing with toys, continent, and taking [slow] walks he had a lot of trouble getting up, would fall down sometimes, and dragged his back feet more and more. I had to carry him (at 70lbs) up and down the steps every night because they were too steep for him. His quality of life wasn't that bad, but after giving me almost fourteen years of unconditional love I felt I owed it to him to let him cross the Rainbow Bridge on a good day rather than wait until he started truly suffering. When he passed (we found a home euthanasia vet) he did so surrounded by people that loved him, in his home, with a belly full of steak and Chick-Fil-A nuggets.
• I've started working out and have stuck with it for 3 months, almost religiously. I've been doing cardio and strength training, and while my muscles are getting bigger I haven't lost a single pound. Alister likes to call me "Beast Mode" and squeeze my biceps, and whenever I complain about still being thick he says "Who cares? You can kick major ass now". I guess it's a decent trade-off.
• I'm studying for my personal trainer certification. It's a slow process but the goal is to be IN-SHAPE by the time I'm certified. Who wants a chunky PT?
• I haven't had any more issues with kidney stones, so yay for that. I'm hoping that my 1 beer and 100 ounces of water a day is preventing future ones, but those hopes aren't very high given my history with them.
• I've slowly been getting better at wake boarding, and this summer I finally started jumping the wake as opposed to just riding in the center. Because of the progression I've also had some impressive face plants. My current state of whiplash is proof.
• I'm still at the same job, ie one where I don't have to touch strangers' butts and I love it. Eventually I'll go back to bedside nursing (or find another career) but for now I'm in limbo as I wait to see if Alister gets into CRNA school or not (which would decide whether we move next summer...or not).
• I've gotten to spend some wonderful quality time with my husband, immediate family, and in-laws at the lake these past few months and it's a good reminder that I'm very blessed to have those people in my life. Especially since I'm antisocial and can't stand making other friends. And I'm too lazy to maintain the friendships I already have. I'm such an asshole.
• I'm looking forward to my sister, Sam, marrying her wonderfully awesome fiance, John on Halloween of this year. My sister is a handful (well, that's one word for it) and anyone who can love her for who she is is a winner to me.

Five Things Friday

Per the [recently implemented] usual, here's 5 things from this week that have happened or that I'm enjoying:

1. Jordan Essentials. I became a consultant to make a little money on the side but I've discovered that I absolutely love their products. They have a fragrance called "Oatmeal, milk, and honey" and honestly it smells just like almond butter; so good I almost want to eat it! Plus I can customize that fragrance into most of the products which is awesome. Alister actually likes the smell too so I'm going to attempt to get him hooked on the 4Men line.
   
2. Penny. She went to the vet today for a follow-up ultrasound of her pancreas which showed some improvement, but still pancreatitis. The vet and I decided to pull the feeding tube since she hates it and is eating fairly regularly (hopefully it stays that way). The vet mentioned that we could stop the pain meds and pepcid but she'll get them a while longer; people are uncomfortable with any pancreatitis so I don't want her miserable. Right now she's home and obsessively grooming herself but seems happy not to have a tube flopping around.
3. Free-time. I have a ridiculous amount of free time right now. Even though I'm out of school, I'm still only working part-time since my break isn't that long, and I'm having serious issues figuring out what to do with all of this extra time. I never thought I'd be one to say "I'm bored" but I called my mom the other day and said just that. However I did think to pull out my acrylic painting supplies and while I'm no Picasso at least I have something to occasionally enjoy!
4. Hallmark movies. I am addicted to Hallmark Christmas movies. They're sappy, ridiculous, fantastical, and silly, but they make me feel all warm, fuzzy, and doofy inside for just a few hours.
   
5. Grad school. I finished the semester with all A's aka a 4.0. Go team! I was originally just wanting to pass my classes, but I feel like I achieved some redemption considering I pretty much failed out of UNCW the first time I went there. You can't get below a B in grad school anyways but I can still be proud of all A's.
   

Six Things Sunday

I totally crapped out on writing a 5 Things Friday, so in order to catch up here's a Six Things Sunday:

• School: I have ONE exam left and then my first semester of grad school is over. I firmly believe that only those in or who have been in grad school will appreciate that!
  
  
  
  
• Penny: Penny seems to be improving...until her feeding tube clogged last night and no amount of Coke has managed to un-clog it. Fast forward to my husband pulling a nursing de-clog trick that I won't admit to and now it works well. The big picture: that cat just "don't care".
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Indy: He helped me study for finals all week; he's such a sweet boy and he even covers the papers so I can't read them.
  
• Quotes: Two of my new favorites, compliments of Dr. Seuss
  
  
  
  
• Stetson: He's old but still handsome, and with the exception of irritating allergies and skin infections, is doing well as an old man.
  
• Jordan Essentials: As mentioned in a previous post I have become a consultant for Jordan Essentials. While I am super excited about having a small career with them and using their products, I'm already finding that being a salewoman is hard. I hate "no" so that something to work on. However, if anyone reading wants to try something let me know- I can get some samples!
  
  
  
  

Five Things Friday

Wow, it's Friday again already. The good thing about Fridays is that I can cheat on creative posting and do a list, so here it is:

1. First semester of grad school is down to 11 days remaining of which I have 3 finals and 1 paper due. Below is the paper research in progress:
   
2. My new Dammit doll from my mom. We have one of these at work and it's usually bashed against a desk after a ridiculous trauma call in which the communication is seriously lacking, the 20th time the phone rings in 5 minutes, a really obnoxious charge nurse, or an a-hole doctor. Now I'm excited to have my own!
   
3. My family. I got to spend some quality time with extended family yesterday, and hopefully again today and tomorrow depending on when the radiologist actually shows up to do Penny's ultrasound. That's right, she's still not eating- sad girl! I also love the silly part of my family...
   
4. I decided to take some #Selfies this week. I hate selfies as does my husband because we both find them obnoxious and self-absorbed, but sometimes I excel at being self-absorbed. One is from being dressed up for work, the other is after being awakened at 6 am this morning from extremely stinky dog farts and cats running across my stomach.
   
   
   
   
5. Jamberry nails. A friend from Duke is selling them and I'm hoping to host a party. I'm extremely untalented when it comes to painting my own nails as my mom and sister can attest to, so I'm hoping a good quality pair of nail "adhesives" will be easier for me. I placed a small order today just to give them a try so I'll let everyone know how they work out.
   

On an extra note, Thanksgiving was an enjoyable day yesterday until my dog inhaled a dirty rag/wipe that he came out of the woods with. My aunt and I tried to get it out but he sucked it down. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he will digest enough of it to pass through, but if it becomes stuck surgery will be a tough decision to make for him due to his age and everything else he's been through. Penny goes to the vet today for an ultrasound and she will not be happy about it. For such a chill and affectionate cat, she has the growling at strangers down to an art. Also, Indy threw up this morning and I'm praying it doesn't mean the steroids are failing and he has lymphoma, but at this point I have prepared myself for everything.

I hope everyone is enjoying Black Friday as I will not be participating in the madness, especially that which occurs out here where I live!

Usual Lazy Updates Post

As always too busy and/or lazy to write a full post.

• Indy is hanging in there- not losing any more weight and not vomiting or having diarrhea anymore. However we're now battling a resp infection (see IBD tab)
• Stetson's hips are worse although not painful (he gets the good drugs) and he recently was treated for an ear infection and skin infection. $$$$. Sigh. On a good note, last Wed was his 2 year anniversary surviving cancer and give that the average lifespan is 1-2 years with chemo and surgery I am blessed to have gotten to spend 2 full years with him
• School has less than a month left in this semester. All seems to be going okay but I feel like I'm at the edge of a breakdown on a weekly basis. Luckily many of my classmates are on the same boat so we support each other
• My artist finished up one part of my LOTR tattoo. There's more to be done but there's things that need to be paid for before that happens
• My sister and nephew are doing well and enjoying Japan. I still miss them but have adjusted to never seeing them so it's all good
• My youngest cat is now obese. It's stressful trying to get one cat to gain weight and the other one to lose weight
• My job is awesome. No complaints
• I ended up in the ED last Tuesday in excruciating pain and ended up passing 2 of my stones at the same time, in the same day. According to the CT there's only 2/5 left so I must have passed the smallest one without knowing. I'm really hoping the other 2 will come out b/c I would LOVE to avoid surgery in December
• I feel like I'm so overwhelmed that I'm not able to enjoy the holidays. Usually the time between Halloween and Christmas is a happy time for me, but I still haven't changed out the spring decorations on the mantle. Our only tree this year may be the little pre-lit white one from WalMart at this rate. I did manage to dress up as a box of Crayons to answer the door on Halloween though. Progress
• I ran a 5K just for the cupcake medal and free Gigi's cupcake afterwards (not sure if that was in my last post). I hadn't run in months so that was a rude awakening although I managed a 13min/mile

And  few pictures...

Large glasses of wine are good

My life

My not-so-little overweight food hoarder

Gigi's 5K

Baer's well visit

Post-ultrasound Indy

Box of crayons

Becoming an ED frequent flyer

The Stetson man on his 2 year post-cancer anniversary

The finished LOTR Ringwraith

Cats and I getting warmed by the fire

Stressful Days

I haven't posted in a while due to a lot going on, mainly grad school, work, and health concerns (both mine and my pets). Things are, for the most part, better than they were but still not great. I am scheduled for a ureteroscopy and stent in December to get the remaining kidney stones out which I'm not looking forward to. My husband's dog Baer has presumed food allergies in addition to gaining even more weight so we have to switch him to a hypoallergenic diet. While Stetson and Penny are trucking along, Indy (my older cat) was recently diagnosed with IBD; you can see his story here or under the IBD tab at the top of the page. We have been staying busy, spending too much money, and doing what we can to give our "kids" a good quality of life. I hope for some relief in the future, but luck usually isn't in my favor.

I hope everyone enjoys their Halloween; I will be hauling myself to Wilmington first thing in the morning for a full day of class. Please stay safe, be smart, and don't eat too much candy (especially you diabetics).

Just Some Things

As of last Thursday I am officially done with orienting 3 days/week and because of that, I was able to catch up on a lot of schoolwork between then and today. I even went ahead and wrote my article reviews and my paper that are due over the next two weeks. School is hard but I think it will be manageable. I'm also discovering that I actually enjoy pharmacology; drugs are good.

Today I headed out to my parents house for a visit. We did some yard work, ate Chinese, ran a few errands, and packaged up a box of toys to send to Laird. Even though Alex requested nothing be sent yet, I had some place mats made for Laird on Shutterfly and wanted to get those over to him before he forgets who I am. Three year olds are not known for their memories! It was also nice to spend some time with my parents. I saw them much more over the last year because of Alex and Laird being there, and sometimes I forget how nice it is to have them so nearby. I've always been close to my family and sometimes I take that for granted.

On the down side, my right flank is continuing to cause me discomfort. By discomfort I mean, on a scale of 1-10, with 10 being the worst pain I could imagine, I am living daily on a 5-6/10 level. That's not acceptable. I'm also hanging upside down multiple times a day on our inversion table, and while it may be stretching my back out nicely it doesn't seem to be moving anything stone-wise. Also, I'm tired of taking Flomax and peeing every 30 minutes when neither of those are accomplishing anything. I'm not sure what I will decide once I go back for my next follow-up, but I definitely cannot live like this indefinitely.

I'm also continuing to attempt to post a picture every day for #100HappyDays. I believe today was day 8, but for those who don't have Instagram I will try to put those pictures on here once a week also.