Sore!

For Christmas AB told me he wanted to get me horseback riding lessons. I owned a horse back when I was in my early 20's and the last time I even sat on a horse was about 5 years ago. 5 YEARS. Unacceptable. So a few weeks ago we went and looked at a farm right near our house that offers private lessons. The farm is large although older, convenient, and the trainer ended up being really nice (she just came over from Germany where she rode most of her life). The only downside is that the farm is mainly Arabians- I know, I know- they're such beautiful, sturdy animals. They're also kinda small and since I'm already OCD about being a heifer, riding one makes me feel BIG. I digress.

I went for my first lesson this evening and the trainer stuck me up on her calmest Arab mare; let me just say, I'm glad she did. I am incredibly out of shape when it comes to my "riding muscles" and that [very calm, very well trained] horse tolerated a lot of floppy legs. I spent an hour riding (walk-trot-canter) and by the end, I COULD NOT FEEL MY LEGS. I genuinely had trouble walking back to the barn. Regardless, it was awesome to be on a horse again and I'm looking forward to my lesson next week.

On another note, this cat is chiilin'.

PNA's and Stuff

Today was the typical busy Thursday; I swear they're so rough because the golf courses are closed and the surgeons have nothing else to do. All of my patients were pretty good though so I can't complain too much.

So all summer we've had 3 PNA's on our unit- I have no clue what PNA means but they're basically nursing students doing a summer externship before their senior year of nursing school. I had 1 PNA with me for much of the past month- I'd like to think I taught her a lot (good and bad), and I KNOW I let her do a lot, so I will definitely miss her presence. I was a little perturbed earlier this week to find out that my unit hadn't planned anything for their good-bye, so I convinced my manager to pick-up a cake for them today. I had a beach scene put on it along with "Good Luck Carrie, Lauren, & China" and it was a big sugary hit (damn me for giving up sugar).

The PNA that was with me the most (far right) was sweet enough to give me a "Thank You" card with a Cheesecake Factory gift card. Score; I knew she was awesome.

This picture I just thought was funny, and true, because it's totally my cat:

Patient Stories From Today:

Patient lifts up sheet and looks down towards his feet.
Pt: Um, what is that???
Me: That would be your penis dude. Basic anatomy.
He was actually referring to the pillow between his legs but it got a good laugh.

After asking me what I majored in the first time in college I asked my pt what his was.
Pt: I majored in white girls.
Me: Really? How did that work out for you?
Pt: Apparently not too well- just ask my 2.5 ex-wives.
True story. I didn't bother asking about the 0.5 wife.

Patient comes out of the OR and has a massive black eye (non-surgery related).
Me: So what happened to your eye?
Pt: My wife beat the shit out of me.
Me: That sucks. Did you deserve it?
Pt: Probably. She doesn't take any crap.
And a little while later...
Me: I have to pull this line out of your artery. To make sure it stops bleeding I have to hold pressure on your wrist for several minutes, so if the silence gets awkward just make some small talk.
Pt: Make love what?
Me: Your wife is sitting right here.
Pt: She's old, she can't see crap anyways.
I think I would have laughed if she had popped his other eye.

Actually, it goes on forever. People on anesthesia meds can be the funniest thing ever. It's a shame HIPAA is such a pain in the butt because YouTube would blow up with the craziness if it weren't.