Thursday, August 9, 2012

PNA's and Stuff

Today was the typical busy Thursday; I swear they're so rough because the golf courses are closed and the surgeons have nothing else to do. All of my patients were pretty good though so I can't complain too much.

So all summer we've had 3 PNA's on our unit- I have no clue what PNA means but they're basically nursing students doing a summer externship before their senior year of nursing school. I had 1 PNA with me for much of the past month- I'd like to think I taught her a lot (good and bad), and I KNOW I let her do a lot, so I will definitely miss her presence. I was a little perturbed earlier this week to find out that my unit hadn't planned anything for their good-bye, so I convinced my manager to pick-up a cake for them today. I had a beach scene put on it along with "Good Luck Carrie, Lauren, & China" and it was a big sugary hit (damn me for giving up sugar).
The PNA that was with me the most (far right) was sweet enough to give me a "Thank You" card with a Cheesecake Factory gift card. Score; I knew she was awesome.
This picture I just thought was funny, and true, because it's totally my cat:

Patient Stories From Today:

Patient lifts up sheet and looks down towards his feet.
Pt: Um, what is that???
Me: That would be your penis dude. Basic anatomy.
He was actually referring to the pillow between his legs but it got a good laugh.

After asking me what I majored in the first time in college I asked my pt what his was.
Pt: I majored in white girls.
Me: Really? How did that work out for you?
Pt: Apparently not too well- just ask my 2.5 ex-wives.
True story. I didn't bother asking about the 0.5 wife.

Patient comes out of the OR and has a massive black eye (non-surgery related).
Me: So what happened to your eye?
Pt: My wife beat the shit out of me.
Me: That sucks. Did you deserve it?
Pt: Probably. She doesn't take any crap.
And a little while later...
Me: I have to pull this line out of your artery. To make sure it stops bleeding I have to hold pressure on your wrist for several minutes, so if the silence gets awkward just make some small talk.
Pt: Make love what?
Me: Your wife is sitting right here.
Pt: She's old, she can't see crap anyways.
I think I would have laughed if she had popped his other eye.

Actually, it goes on forever. People on anesthesia meds can be the funniest thing ever. It's a shame HIPAA is such a pain in the butt because YouTube would blow up with the craziness if it weren't.

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