Wednesday, October 28, 2009


Today I had a clinical on the pediatrics floor at PCMH and was so very proud of myself. For those that don't know me well, I am insanely scared of kids and having to work with them is quite a bit of an anxiety attack for me. That being said, my patient this afternoon was a 9 month old girl with meningitis and a subdural empyema (pus between some layers in her brain). She was adorable despite her large head and tendency to drool more than Alister's dog. The first time I went into the room no one else was in there with her and the nurse popped in right after just long enough to ask me to play with her. Yes, me. Play with a baby.

At first I was scared to touch her (she had tubes and lines everywhere and well, she was a BABY) but when she started to get fussy I gave in and picked her up at which time she promptly shoved the entire end of my stethoscope in her mouth. I finally realized if I talked to her like I do my pets we'd have no problem. She also seemed fascinated with my stethoscope so if it kept her from crying I was good.

The day ended up going really smoothly; her parent's were really friendly and my nurse was great. I even learned to change a diaper and apply butt cream (not kidding, it's called BUTT CREAM). My biggest success though was partially getting over my fear of babies. I definitely don't want to have any but I won't lie; I'm super excited about my sister(s) having some baby fetus'...I can't wait to play with them and spoil them and then send them home when they get fussy or annoying. :-)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

I'm a blogging failure

I swore to myself that I would try to maintain this blog on a regular basis, but as the few left who still check it can see, I don't do a very good job. Most of the times I get on here these days is to update everything that has happened since the last post...which seems to be about a month before. Sigh.

I guess I'll start with the egg donation thing. I was actually really starting to look forward to the whole process when I was informed that I had "failed" the psych evaluation. Now, I always knew I was a bit crazy (isn't everyone in their own way) but for a stranger who has never met me to tell me that I am not up to their standards was a little off-putting. The couple had picked me out from a website with hundreds of other donors on it and in a second I had some shrink up in MA judging me over a bunch of random questions ie "Do you like reading books on mechanics", "If you could be an artist would you want to paint flowers", and "Do you frequently hear voices in your head that no one else does". And sadly, I "failed" it. Oh well, there's still nursing school (despite the nice little self esteem blow). Guess my eggs just aren't good enough.

On a separate note, I have signed up to try to write a novel in one month starting November 1 through Actually, it's a 50,000 word piece of randomness that I'm going to attempt to come up with in 30 days in hopes that somewhere deep inside I'm capable of being an author. I don't have high hopes though since I can't even seem to keep a simple blog up-to-date. I'll TRY to update on here and let my few readers left how it's going.

Nursing school is going okay. Well, I actually despise this semester because it's just one huge, unorganized mess, but I'm just trying to get through it. I found that I actually do not like pediatrics (big surprise there) and that I'm not even that find of obstetrics anymore. I'm really hoping that sometime during these 2 years of torture I can find something I can manage to stand long enough to get into graduate school (and really, I've given up claiming I know what I want to do with that either).

The story of my life can be summed up in 3 words...I don't know.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Oh my eggs...

Recently I received a phone call from an egg donor agency I applied to back when I worked at Duke. A couple had actually chosen ME from a huge list of potential donors to be their egg supplier. I felt flattered. I felt honored. I felt the $5500 compensation would help greatly with paying off some debt. I told her I would do it and the process has begun.

I just finished filling out a 570 question psych evaluation and sometime in the next 2 weeks will fly to Boston to have medical tests done and another psych evaluation completed. If I pass that (cross fingers) I will proceed to being put on birth control to match my cycle with the surrogate's. From there comes the hormone injections and retrieval, but I'm trying to take it one step at a time (and trying not to think about sticking myself with a needle several times a day). The thought of flying to Boston soon just because a couple of strangers want my genes is kind of crazy. Story of my life. :-)